"Set an intention, begin the path, and watch miracles unfold." A note I wrote at the beginning of this year and one that has been manifesting since then. This year, 2023, has felt like a new beginning- a new beginning that I had been yearning for a very long time. I feel great! A lot lighter, positively different, and elevated to a higher level of consciousness. The healing work has been working, my inner being is being, and yes, I am still in Bali.
Still in Bali and trying my best to live a better life. To be more in the present, grounded, continuing the practice of gratitude, and learning the lessons presented to me through challenges I encounter daily. For the past five months, I have been adapting to a new culture, discovering new places, looking for exciting opportunities, managing my business remotely, and planning for the future.
One of the biggest lessons I continue to be confronted by on this slow-paced Island of the Gods, is one of patience. These lessons have been coming to me in various ways, and during these encounters, I cannot help but ruminate on the parts of my life- the road less traveled, that is sometimes not-so-fun. The "Strings Attached" to this life as a modern nomad. The parts that require infinite virtues like patience, resilience, strength, and detachment.
One of the most recent and challenging times of learning has been the passing away of my grandmother. Still in Bali, I was unable to return to Trinidad for her funeral. After her death, I tried to have positive thoughts like being lucky to have visited her last year and that now she is no longer suffering. But there were also times where I felt overwhelmed by unpleasant feelings of loss. Not being able to spend time with her in her last moments, not being there at the funeral to say goodbye, and not being there to be with my mother.
These feelings made me reflect on all of the other moments that I have missed out on in the past. All because of the life I have chosen to live. The life of a modern nomad, where one becomes somewhat of an expert at saying goodbye- in many ways.
This life may seem perfect to the onlooker- of course I would not have chosen this if it was not fun! I see it as, the road less taken but most enjoyed. I live for the travels, adventures, connecting with people from around the world, living in places for long or short periods, seeing life from various angles. Every day I wake up grateful for this path, but it is not easy or perfect. It comes with many strings attached.
Living this life means that many times one will not be present for milestones of loved ones. Baby showers, births, birthdays, weddings, graduations, and recitals. And there may even be occasions similar to mine where one will not be there to comfort or, maybe even be comforted during times of mourning, loss, and hardships.
Living this life means that at times one may have to embark on the process of starting over. Living out of a suitcase, sometimes parting with cherished personal items once housed in a place you called home. Moving to a new city or country, building new meaningful connections with like-minded people, forming friendships, building routines, and finding favorite spots in the city that somehow feel like home.
I continue to learn to give myself grace when I have these thoughts and live these challenges. These experiences have allowed me to grow and discover many parts of myself.
Living this life has offered the opportunity to practice detachment, resilience, and strength. Living this life has encouraged me to peel off the layers, to open up and disarm. To be more vulnerable and receptive towards the uncomfortable and unexpected. Like being in Bali for instance!
It was not my intention to be here for this long, but the Universe had other plans. Being in Bali has elevated my life. The time spent here and challenges faced has allowed me to practice what I have been discovering on this island- within myself. It feels like a blissful beginning.
I hope that when I finally leave Bali, I will continue to allow myself grace to be whomever I continue to become, and feel whatever is in my heart, as it is all part of my forever adventure- forever finding, forever growing, and forever learning.
I accept that this life I live, love, and continue to exponentially grow through, comes with Strings Attached.
Stay tuned, because the best is yet to come!